In lieu of a nutritious dinner, i heated up some soup for the kids and decided to write.
What does one give as a gift for a 10th anniversary in the digital age. Maybe a guest blog post?
10 years has flown by since our (not) shotgun wedding and we've crossed the country a few times since then. Tallahassee, Flushing, Melbourne, Garden Grove, Redondo Beach, Brooklyn (18th & 11th -- Park Slope ), Norwalk, and Tampa. Making a triangle around the flyover states and not settling too close to the Mississippi, which is what i always set out not to do. Listing it out that way all at once leaves one out of breath but it was an adventure, nonetheless, with maybe only about 4 bad days sprinkled in when death or destruction came to our doorstep. I'm sure there is some statistic about divorce and how long people our age would have been married or should have been married, but gloating about our love at this point would probably only serve to curse it, so i won't do it in writing. We can just laugh about it later. I do have to say, though, loving you is effortless and i really don't have to think about it at all...it just happens. Like breathing, eating, driving, cursing, sleeping, and a few other activities that one does throughout the day. Unfortunately, effortless love comes with the consequence of not having a proper gift other than what's on this screen.
Thank you so much for all that you do. Everything and everyone you touch turns to gold and you are so much smarter and more capable than i'll ever be. I've not swung a hammer once in our new house and am fairly worthless at the rest of the domestic duties. I can go to work and do OK at moving ships around, but that's about it. I come home and run around with the kids at 6, and then lose my patience at 8 when they are not asleep (trying to work on this). I bite my nails down to the bone and get nervous about this perfect life, somehow. You have kept me grounded when my mind is not supposed to wander, and lifted me up when i was logically thinking about something that didn't matter.
Thank you for these beautiful kids (who are now drooling in front of the TV covered in soup). You've given so much to these kids that i will be so disappointed the first time we find a gateway drug tucked in their top drawer. I won't really be upset for them, but more for the mother who slaved away during all of those witching hours (5-6pm on weekdays), making dinner and trying to keep them awake. I will just look at our future children and frown, and then draw pictures of a watermelon coming out of a hole the size of...something that is a lot smaller than a watermelon...Of course they will be promptly shipped off to boarding school or some sort of boot camp, but not until they know the disappointment that is felt by letting their mother down. I honestly think that they will both save the world somehow. I see M with a hyphenated last name reporting on money for NPR, and D being some sort of professional hackey sack player with white dreads. I will be proud of both of them in their own ways, but mostly proud of myself for picking a winner when it came to motherhood. Really, any success that can be attributed to either of these kids, i will take full credit for. Somehow, 12 years ago, i met you and in 20 minutes knew that i was in love --- that's not possible, is it?!? who knows. I think it was those Capris.
You may very well delete this post but hopefully you at least keep it in a digital folder somewhere, because honestly, i have no diamonds as a back up.
i love you - please stay the same.